October the 20th...

On october 19th, 2005, everything turned out exactly the opposite of how i thought it would be...just another boring special date... but no, it occured to God that, that would be the best day for me to learn one of the hardest lessons and truths I could ever learn... what was deepest in me, that night made my heart shatter, and dehydrate on tears, knowing that you can´t trust ANYONE, not even the one person that brought you to life, and that the only one that gives you the enough air to breath and survive is God... and that.... that should be enough....the rest...its secondary, even the love of the ones that should love you the most...but God´s love..to me, that does it... and I had to learn the hard way, when I realized He was over everybody that was "a key" in my life... the funniest part, is that, after that horrible day, everything turned out better, and although things that were said that day with one of the most important persons in my life were rough and definitive, I got healed, and the relationship even changed... and I Still love my mom...
For some reason, maybe just to cry and think of Him as my only hope, God made me listen to this song over and over that night....the night before my 18th BIRHTDAY...(on Thursday, October the 20ht, 2005)...and it is incredible how I felt EXACTLY the same way the author felt..every word was like mine (exept that i was turning 18 and not 22...you´ll see why), like an aeroplane with nowhere to land, alone, that anything I had around me couls make me happy, hopeless, and watching the same crisis happen in my life over and over, like history was repeating...but then, He became enough, and fullfiled me... anyways.. here´s the song...

Listen to it, when you get a chance... its a very beautiful melody, by Switchfoot, of course...

"Let That Be Enough"

I wish I had what I needed
To be on my own
'Cause I feel so defeated
And I'm feeling alone
And it all seems so helpless
And I have no plans
I'm a plane in the sunset
With nowhere to land

And all I see It could
never make me happy
And all my sand castles
Spend their time collapsing

Let me know that You hear me
Let me know Your touch
Let me know that You love me
And let that be enough

It's my birthday tomorrow
No one here could know
I was born this Thursday
22 years ago
And I feel stuck
Watching history repeating
Yeah, who am I?
Just a kid who knows he's needy

Let me know that You hear me
Let me know Your touch
Let me know that You love me
And let that be enough